A note for those of you who signed up for my writing accountability group - Wow, almost 200 people applied, everyone with such thoughtful responses - so grateful to all those who expressed interest in joining this writing community. If you are one of the 20 people selected to join my Saturday writing sessions, you will receive a confirmation email early this week with more info/next steps. In the coming weeks, I’ll be in touch with those who I wasn’t able to include this round with info on other potential sessions. Stay tuned.
This Sunday, I’m meditating on commitment. Commitment to self, commitment to community, commitment to concepts and forces outside of ourselves. Over the past week, I’ve dedicated every moment to the diligent and necessary work of self-regard. It is messy, uncomfortable, deeply satisfying work. To show up and up and up for yourself, not from a place of obligation or anxiety but joy, belief.
Showing up these days looks like a lot of things. It looks like establishing the basic but very difficult (if it’s never occurred to you before that you are a being that needs and moreso deserves care) routine of getting adequate sleep, sufficient water, nourishment, movement.
It looks like setting boundaries with nos (no, you can’t speak to me that way, no, I don’t want to do that, no, you can fuck right off) and expanding horizons with yeses (yes to pleasure, yes to new opportunities, yes to foreign experiences - because I deserve and require growth). It looks like writing, writing, writing - diligently and unselfconsciously and without the expectation of reward or praise. A place just for me. It also looks like talking to myself throughout the day — voice journals and iPhone notes and conversations with myself at the kitchen counter while I’m sipping my morning tea.
The other day, I was thinking about what I’m trying to create and build for myself this year, parsing through a lot of the doubt and fear that often gets in the way of the building. I asked myself, “OK, but where is the evidence that things will change? Get better? How do I know that the difficult circumstances of my life right now will shift into a more bearable place? How do I know that all the things I’m working on now — my novel, my pilot, the myriad other projects I’m trying to bring into the light — will find a place in the world? I need a sign. I need more evidence!!”
And just as soon as I said that, an answer popped into my head and shut me up: