So, let me tell you about my morning:
My alarm went off at 7:00 AM. Wishful thinking. I woke up when my 8:30 AM alarm rang instead. Went to the bathroom, peed, brushed my teeth. Put on my electric kettle and made my customary morning cup of hot water, ginger, lemon and honey. I haven’t done this in a week, I’m finally coming out of a really bad depression fog and it felt good to ease my way back into some kind of normalcy (even though I still feel on edge, a little anxious). I went back to bed and cuddled with my boyfriend.
I put on my nostalgia playlist and sipped my tea and looked/read through the new Black Archives photography book, which is beautiful and makes me think a lot about all the members of my family I’ll never get to see, even if I can feel them all around me. I told my boyfriend I was craving a bagel with cream cheese and lox so he ordered some for the both of us. We cuddled some more and I talked about how sometimes I wish my memories were more than memories, how I wish I could capture moments like these as something more substantial, not just a hazy picture but a concrete feeling. Something I can hold.
But I guess that’s why it’s important to be truly present when we’re with the people we love. There’s no approximation that can match what it truly feels like to be held and seen by someone who cares for you. So enjoy it, while you have it, in the moment. The memory is beautiful, too, but it’s really just an echo of an echo…Whew, chile, it really is Pisces season, isn’t it?