sunday energy #21

social anxiety, being present, extra-ness, shout out to jane fonda

I’m back home. Still trying to get settled, still adjusting to the slightly colder weather and gloomier sky. Still adjusting to the time difference. Still adjusting, always, to being alive. And I can’t believe it’s almost the middle of March, already! Or that, next month (April 29 🥲) I turn 34! Getting older is wild. It’s also a gift and a privilege, which I become more acutely aware of as I age, but I don’t know, being alive is just a very trippy experience and sometimes I have to really step out of myself in order to absorb that I, we, are actually having this experience.

I think I’m trying to talk about being more present.

The way my memory is set up, I don’t actually remember that much of my life after a year or two (which is why try to record/keep anything), so being truly present, I’m realizing, is the only way to do this. I can’t be locked up in a room inside my head all the time, peering out of dusty windows with broken shutters, wondering why I can’t understand anyone and they can’t understand me.